confession

although being engaged has been a fun and exciting time, it has also been a challenging one.

there is weekend after weekend of wedding plans, fun people and fun experiences but monday after monday i return to an empty apartment and it's back to work until the next weekend. i have never lived by myself and i'm glad now that i will never have to come october. it's been hard to motivate myself to do things when the only one holding me accountable during the week is me.

while i don't want to overwhelm austin with all of these expectations, i still believe that it will be way funner doing things with two people rather than one: bikes rides, walks through the neighborhood, going out to eat, watching movies, and cooking.

being long distance stinks. i'm not sure if it stinks more with an end in sight or without one.

that just happened

walk in to patient A's room, who's feet are "burnin' up so bad" because of nerve pain that he is having. he is not due for any pain meds for another couple hours, so i'm offering every alternative i can think of: can we get an ice pack on your feet? does it help if we put a pillow underneath them? do you want a heating pad?

no, no, no. still moaning and groaning from pain.

just as i am about to give up, i tell him i will come in with his pain med as soon as it becomes due again. "you just let me know if there is anything else i can get you, okay?" i say.

"ya'll got any ice cream?"


really? REALLY?

these PEOPLE.

funny girls

when you don't have too much going on in the looks department, a girl must be funny. i've spent years developing this skill and it is quite often one of the only attributes i can fall back on. luckily there are women out there who i can look to for inspiration, one of them being tina fey. i am currently reading her new book : bossypants. it is hilarious.



it's kind of a cross between a memoir, how-to guide, and self-help with many jokes like this along the way:

"Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one."

Simply hilarious.

seriously, who doesn't love this woman?

"these lights"

last saturday i got to experience one of the coolest things i have ever been a part of: helping the less make their "these lights" music video.

adam, zac, michael, kyle, and paul of the less have worked so hard to get to this point: years of writing, planning, playing anywhere and everywhere, going against the expectations of going to college and getting jobs, and most importantly never giving up on their dream.

as everyone arrived at the old warehouse in downtown atlanta the excitement built around these guys and what they were doing. the energy level stayed high all night even during the 527638th take of the bridge to the end of the song, as you can see in this pic:


the feeling of community and encouragement was overwhelming that night as old friends caught up and new friends were made, all with the common goal of supporting these guys making a huge step towards their goal.

the way the support was raised for this project, the professional talent that worked (for free) to film, and the meaning behind the song and the video all showed just how much these guys are blessed by God and are doing what they are called to do.


i'm so proud to call this talented group my friends. trust me guys, the finished product is gonna look good.

DNR

For those of you who don't know, this is a term we use in the medical world meaning "do not resuscitate." It is used as a status for those patients who have chosen that they do not want heroic measures (such as cpr, artificial breathing) taken to be kept alive should the situation arise. My opinion on this subject became even more defined this week after watching one of my patients near the end of her life.

I don't want to be misunderstood: I am in no way in favor one person ending another person's life. I am simply not in favor of unnecessarily prolonging one's life.

As I watched my 80 year old patient with a severe lung infection have a tube inserted down her throat, and then endure the trauma of CPR after her heart stopped a couple hours later, my heart ached. I think I felt a little of what her husband felt when he went to visit her a few hours later and said, "I don't think she would have wanted this."

As I watched the events unfold I couldn't help but wonder if I would feel the same way if it was my mother or spouse in that situation. Would I want that person to "live" as long as possible, no matter the cost? Or would I have had the peace to let go when their body did?

This is a heavy topic, surely one that requires a lot of discussion, thought, and consideration to the situation.

Often times with these kinds of patients I find myself praying that they know Jesus, and He would take them then.

wedding planning has commenced, which has introduced us to a whole new world of invitations, vendors, and formal wear. we keep referencing our favorite scenes from father of the bride to keep us sane. i think we can all agree that this scene is pretty hilarious:




also, i have a few wedding mags laying around the house with articles on the cover like, "what is wrong with my dad lately?" so naturally this weekend dad comes up to me and says, "according to your magazines i'm supposed to be grouchy all the time."

funny funny, good thing he hasn't been (yet).

engagement times

i have a fiance, and it is so exciting!



austin surprised me in auburn last weekend and asked me to marry him on the steps of samford hall, which may sound cliche, but that's also where his dad proposed to his mom and his brother proposed to his wife. i am so excited and can't wait to begin wedding planning, honeymoon planning, and marriage planning!

some funny stories from engagement day that you probably have already heard:

• i was a tiny bit tipped off to the surprise by our friend nate, who greeted me at the toomer house by saying: "hey ellen, i didn't know you were here. i just saw austin...." to which i said "what???" and the room got very quiet. he felt awful (poor guy) and when we got back to the house after the proposal he gave austin a huge nate hug saying, "i'm so sorry, man...." . it's okay nate, austin is just anxiously awaiting the day you want to propose.

• my phone call with jonathan to tell him our news:

me: hey jonathan, me and austin are going to get married!
jonathan: that's awesome! hold on a second- (muffled) can i get a plain hamburger, nothing on it, just the meat and the bun? and an m&m mcflurry."

our news took second place to the mcdonalds drive-thru, apparently.

• while i was telling my mom about how many we wanted to have in our bridal party, she goes: "ooooo, seven, the Lord's number!"
  

can't wait to share more plans and fun thoughts as the day gets closer!